Hi seaweedmoonbeam, Are you in Concord, California? (Just curious, as I'm not too far from there.)

I'm with your husband on this one. If he truly would rather do anything than face your family, I think he has good reason - and be cautious, imo, about alienating him while trying to fix things with your extended family.

From what you've described, it sounds like your extended family has a lot of issues. For one thing, did they really ignore your mother's lies and accusations? It doesn't sound like they did.

I have some extended family members who are wacky (with alcoholism being the central issue). It's sad, I'm very sad about how things are, but I have stopped expecting anything from those particular people. They are people who are choosing to remain sick and I don't want any part of that. I've stopped looking to them to rescue me from any uncomfortable feelings I have.

You have been blessed with a caring husband and a wonderful baby boy. My thought is, be grateful for the family you've created and let go of the sickness that is your extended family. If there are one or two people in your extended family that you do value (and who value you), plan on getting together with that one or two on your own, or with your son, for lunch or something simple.