I'm non-binary/androgyne, so I feel you entirely. I've been sent to see a gender therapist next year and honestly, I'm worried about the prospect of surgery or hormones even though I hate the body I was born into.

It's super frustrating to say the least! I'm not sure if it's of any help to you at all, but I recently had a long-ish buzz cut and I find it still works when I want to present more feminine since I can pretty myself up with dangle or cuff earrings. I've found it to be a really neutral haircut, for me at least. (Although I appreciate that not everyone wants to rock a fully shaved head!)

But you do you, there's no 'right' or 'wrong' way to be gender-fluid. Hopefully you find something that works for you soon.