How do you go on when there is absolutely nothing to look forward to. I've had a terrible year and it is just getting worse. My dad died, i was with him, it was sudden but he wasnt alone. My dad was a bachelor and it was up to me to take on the responsibility of planning, paying, cleaning up, after he passed away. He had nothing so i paid (still) for the funeral. A week after his funeral my husband had a heart attack. I got fired from my two jobs. More happened and it went on and on. I took the summer off to be in my gardens and not have any stress. Im so sad. My heart is broken. Ive done counseling but didnt work, made it worse. Im trying to find a job, nothing. I was in the hospital in aug. For my heart and am currently in cardiac rehab, so i am exercising, which should be helping but isnt. Still, nothing to get out of bed for. I love my husband and children but its not enough. I feel like a loser, totally defeated. I used to be someone, had 2 big jobs, known in the community...now nothing. My children no longer live at home, my husband has his own bedroom and i feel lost with no hope. I miss my dad.