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What do you dream of achieving?
Does it give you hope?
I'm self-employed. I'm dreaming of having enough income and revenue to just focus on business strategy (without having to actually create, extend and maintain the Internet service I provide), scientific research (using the service) and of being a succesful composer.
I've never lost hope completely. I don't expect and don't care about the expectations of others (or I try to) and I try to prevent others from expecting anything (it's a personality trait, a problem and a partial solution), I just hope. That way I never lose it.
It's not a good sign, but it is a good thing.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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