Quote:
Originally Posted by kecanoe
And I'm so paranoid I'm wondering if my even counselor's willingness to listen and entertain my opinion is merely put-on, a facade to keep me calm till she can disabuse me of my wrong-headed notions.
It sounds like your counselor is on board with your ideas about BPD. Do you have past experience with the counselor that would lead you to believe that you are just being led on? Have you discussed how treatment for BPD would differ from what you are doing?
I don't think I would be too concerned about NP's opinion. Partly because as far as I am aware, there are no meds that treat BPD, and if you have Bipolar, you need to be on meds for that. It sounds like that is what NP is doing, unless I misread your post.
Do you think you need different treatment? It does sound like you are suffering. Have you considered talking to a t with experience treating BPD to get a second opinion?
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My NP is attempting to treat the bipolar--has been for years, but most meds either don't work, work in very not-good unexpected ways--including homicidal pyromania, on one mood-stabilizer--or stop working after a year or even less. Like, Paxil finally kicked the bucket, for me. I'm shortly to be on Prozac.
My counselor IS listening to me. Taking me seriously. She's never NOT. In fact, when she diagnosed me, I literally wept in her office because she was the first person to take how I felt and what I was going through seriously. She's always done so, and my paranoia made me irrational enough to forget that if anyone would believe me, it's her.
We've discussed what the approach to BPD treatment would be from her end, and it was just as I've read: More DBT, which is great, because I think DBT is made of awesome-sauce. I'm not terribly good at it, or being mindful, but when I succeed at it, it's . . . amazing for me.
So, the counseling stuff is squared. I just don't want my NP prescribing drugs that mess with something she thinks I don't have, but which I just might.
I've considered a second opinion, but I don't wanna pick just anyone my insurance covers. I'd have to do research and ask my counselor if she'd recommend anyone. Even if it's only for a few visits to get whatever diagnosis out of the way and settled. I've been lucky to have a great counselor, entirely through chance and no research. I don't wanna count on that happening a second time :-/