Msj I feel for you. You are grieving for your Dad eh? You've been through a lot. It has to get better. Did anything good happen in any of that time? Sometimes I tend to focus on only the negative and forget the positive. Are you well enough to take a trip? That has helped me in the past to go somewhere beautiful, take your husband and surround yourself with peace and beauty. If you can't afford it, becoming more spiritually connected to whatever your source is can also lift you out of a bad spot. Sending you prayers on the wings of angels.