As someone who was for most for my life also on the throw everything at the wall not see what sticks MH treatment, I understand completely how you are feeling atm. I also have been thru periods of mistrust and disgust, frustration with many providers over the yrs. And also had many whom I felt were very condescending and dismissive. And went down the rabbit hole of dx research as well.
Some suggestions that helped me muddle thru, just from my personal experience, you are free to take or leave whatever you want...just know I am writing from a place of understanding and kindness
1. Get a Genome Test done..if your insurance covers it or if you can afford one. They do ones that strictly geared towards pharadynamics and pharmakenetics for how your genotype may works with best to worst almost all currently known used psych meds. Helped me immensely. Not that it at all found a cure all..quite the opposite in fact! But it did finally after yrs of terrible AD med trys show that I lack crucial enzymes that convert these meds and there for they were in fact making my body sicker and worsening my depression.
2. Ask your therapist for a list of DBT groups in your area. This is a therapy that is targeted to treat BPD but is good life skills regardless of whether you may be dxd with. So even if you aren't dxd w/ BPD..this type of therapy is currently considered the best treatment available. See if you can "audit" a couple of different groups for a session to figure out if it is something that you are interested in doing and to find an atmosphere of comfort.
3. Have you tried CALMLY speaking to your providers about how you are precieving their attitude towards you and your treatment plan?.. *CAUTION* HOW YOU APPROACH THIS!..Write down a list of things that make you feel like this and USE I STATEMENTS!..I know makes me roll my eyes writing that phrase but honestly, if you can manage to stay calm and let them know that a few (just top 3 maybe) instances or whatever that have happened from the POV of ex: "I know would like to talk about something you said to me in last session. I felt very dismissed when you said...." Then either explain why you find that language to trigger you and prefer that not be used or if you don't know why wait for your ts response. Which if they are worth while will take your concerns seriously and explain what their intentions were and help you explore why you are feeling upset by them...if they reply dismissively despite your best efforts to talk to them in a clear calm assertive manner...then maybe time to start looking for a new T/PDoc.
Just some ideas...hope you find something in this response helpful
Be Well and Keep Writing!