Hello introspectiveme: I suspect the majority of people in the world live their lives the way you describe... "drifting with the wind"... just doing whatever needs to be done... whatever they have the opportunity to do... in order to get by. A few people find something they are passionate about & pursue it relentlessly. Not everyone can do that though... even if they want to.

So, anyway, with those thoughts in mind, I don't know as how you're living at the moment is that much different from the majority of people. It is good you have a passion for the guitar. Having something like this you enjoy can be important as you continue your day-to-day life activities. By the way, do you follow any particular guitarists on YouTube by any chance? I subscribe to Tatyana Ryzhkova's channel & also Per-Olav Kindgren. I have several audio CD's by Filomena Moretti. She does not have a YouTube channel though. So I can't subscribe to her. I'm often listening to music videos on YouTube while I'm replying to posts here on PC. Right now I'm listening to "Now We Are Free"... Hans Zinmmer & Lisa Gerrard:



It's not guitar music. But it is beautiful...