Suspicion/fear and grandiosity and/or a mystical experience. Such awareness that it's possible to rewind/repeat what you've seen in your mind. Interesting that that happens (to others as well).
I try to forget the details if I even remember them (I very well remember them for maybe a month and some things I have seen I can still remember after many years in great detail, like a traumatic experience, in a way). If incongruent psychosis happens during mania I don't remember much of it and it's less noticeable, it's more difficult to discern the break, for me, but generally more so for others than "pure" mania). I don't think the details are important. The experience is worthwhile but not because of exactly what you think (why and emotions and dynamics are important, not the nonsensical ideas and reasoning).
I (also) really don't like to think about it.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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