I understand you. I had the same feeling. I wanted to know more about my T's life. Then I googled her on facebook and found his boyfriend too. I wanted to see photos of him...His page was private, there were some past photos. There was a photo of him and her kissing (it's his profile pic so I could see it). It wasnt a good thing for me to see that...I wanted to know more about my T, wanted to see how her life was, but at the same time I felt jealous (when I saw the kissing photo for example). I don't know if I'm jealous of her boyfriend, or about her life in general that seems perfect, beautiful and stable from the photos.
But I don't think that seeing her boyfriend was helpful to me. Yes, now I know what he's like...but it gave nothing to me. I don't know his personality. I'm more obsessed now after seeing that photo, I still have the habit to check her and his facebook page...it's not helpful.

Interesting that you remarked that you wish she didn't have any boundaries. Everyone has boundaries! A T will have more than a friendship, or a partner-ship-it keeps both people in a more "healthy" space. I know you said you wouldn't stalk her (and I believe you), but remember that she has previous experience w you crossing the line sometimes into her personal boundaries. You said she showed you her pictures of her kids-but that was AFTER you saw their pictures on FB, right?

In an ideal world, I am guessing T would share everything about her life to you? How would that benefit you? Also-it is rare that any one person shares "everything" with just one person. I think it is healthy to share your needs around. I went (sort of still going) through a situation recently w a friend where I was needing too much from her-a HUGE fear of mine. She didn't exactly put it that way, but my insecurity was driving her away.

What I am trying to say is that it's good for people to have boundaries, even though it does hurt.