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Originally Posted by JoeS21
I am attracted to someone with BPD. For some time now, she's seemed very conflicted, a part of her loves me and is attracted to me, but another part of her finds me condescending, patronizing, etc. and becomes furious at me and the other part of herself that likes me. Lately, even the sight of me has been making her mad. But even when she's mad, she cracks and shows signs of liking me - then gets even more mad at me and herself for showing those signs of liking me.
What do you think is the best thing for me to do, if I like her and want her to like me?
(I feel like I just said, "me," about a dozen times. Oh, well.)
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It would appear you have some choices:
-Run, get out ASAP. Choosing to stay with this person places your own emotional and possibly physical well-being at considerable risk.
-Accept that she is very ill and is very unlikely to change. Reject with all your will, the symptoms of her illness when they arise. Please realize that they have nothing to do with you and take nothing personal.
-Get away when she is showing signs of her illness. Protect and nurture yourself. Agree to return when she is managing her illness effectively. She is likely trying to reject you for the fear that you will ultimately abandon her and/or hurt her in some way. If she is not already getting help, then frequently and assertively recommend that she do so.
-You have no ability to determine or control whether or not she likes you or not. It sounds as if she does have some degree of positive feelings for you, but she is unable (ie, has no coping skills) to manage those feelings.
Best wishes and please take care of yourself.