HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
You don't have to apologize for posting about depression...That's what this site is for. I think the fact that it's your birthday makes today especially depressing. While kids look forward to their birthdays, they get harder as one ages (at least they do for me). As far as New Year's Eve goes, I'm usually asleep before midnight. Sometimes we build these occasions up when, in reality, they're just another day. I know my words won't do much to cheer you up (sounds like this is a tough time of year for you), but hang in there. Depression just sucks...But being bipolar, one knows the worm will turn eventually.