Dissociation and trauma memories are so tricky to figure out. Ex T had a whole lot of old stuff written by us that included lists and writings about alters and memories of horrific abuse that we no longer believe is true. Mixed in amongst it all are more typical abuse memories that are infinitely more believable.
The problem is that none of it feels real to me. I 'know' of it. It doesn't feel real to me in any sense of the word. It does feel real to these alters, though. The ones that say the 'normal' stuff happened and the ones that say the extreme stuff happened. To them it all feels real.
I don't know how to sort it out. I just don't believe it. It doesn't seem plausible at all. I really don't want to work on stuff that isn't real.
Anyway, I didn't let ex T share all of the info with new T, because I don't think it would have helped, and it certainly might have freaked new T out enough to not want to work with us any more.