In the last years of my working career I lost several jobs due to depression & mania. Years ago I was able to compensate better, but as the years passed I became less able to do so. I'm now on disability...which makes me feel like crap, but even volunteer work hasn't worked out for me because of my deep depressions during which I isolate almost entirely. I sometimes kick myself for using bipolar disorder as an excuse, but I have to learn to accept things for what they are. The shame, however, is hard to shed.