Hi kenny,
It's brave of you to post here, and to be so honest about what has happened to you.
We always seem to blame ourselves for what we see as our mistakes, but things happen that we can't control. Maybe your old employers were not the best people to work for.
This is certainly a big crisis for you at the moment, and I hope that something works out. In my life, sometimes surprisingly good things have come out of a crisis, although I couldn't see it at the time.
Good luck, Myzen