difantly have been trying to be thats for sure....just been difficult.

the problem with the test was that I actually took the test three times which is the max amount you can take it so I now i have to do the whole course and clinical hours for it again.
which I am willing to do, cause i honestly want this that badly. I just have noticed since the winter months begain and the winter weather I am just not feeling as much myself like at all toward much of anything.

and to make it worse I feel like its now starting to effect me and my primary partner. Cause he has been more moody as of late also.

I also have a young dog in the house that I need really badly to get into obidence classes cause his bad habbits need to stop and stop stop soon if at all possible.

I have multiple girlfriends that don't particuarly live close by and I feel horrible that I don't spend that much time with them. I try to talk to them and keep in touch as often as I possibly can. But that ends up being hard.

I am also worried that retaking this course again I am not going to have a lot of money for helping with rent and bills. I mean the whole point of me doing this was to hopefully get a secondary job.

I am just going to have to crack down on getting as much extra hours as I can...even when I am doing school.

I also do web cam modeling so I am thinking I will probably try to do that more also just to help bring in more money but I am really stuck in this situation and pretty much most everything about it makes me feel like crap.

at this point if I get money for christmas its probably gonna go to helping pay for rent and bills.