I won't see my pdoc until January, but I can talk to my psychologist on Monday and will. I also think it is a reason to get sad and rather thought it was strange that I was doing so well before. When I get sad I sometimes get normal sad, like anyone else would and when I crash I et suicidal thoughts and self-harm ideas, which I link to bipolar. I just don't wanna go back there but I also know that this often is the price we pay for flying so high during mania or hypomania. Right now I am just reaching out, because telling helps.