Quote:
Originally Posted by migillicuty
I'm a 31 year old male and I am dealing with what I am thinking is some kind of mental disorder. It must be a mental disorder! Or am I the only one who seems to see it? In my entire life I have never held down a full time 40 hour/week job longer than 3 months. For some reason I just feel like I'm in some sort of prison converting my entire days life into labor hours.
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I feel the same. I held off on the job for as long as I could and went to work full time at 30. At first I kept getting laid off so I would have 3 months or more at a time laid off, but at 35 I got a full time job and I have LITERALLY been working 10 hours daily (with commute) since.
I get a lousy 2 weeks vacation every year and that works out to about 1 day per month personal. That is too much. I happen to work for the criminal justice system and often I think about how jail wouldn't really be that bad.
The thing is there is no freedom. If I do have a day off I can just start a project before I have to break off and prepare to go back to work.
I feel even worse because I have a job that will allow me to get a pension. So though I know I want to stop and do something else and I just need like 6 months to catch up on my life which has been on the back burner for 10 years... I can't quit because I will lose my pension. Which, I cannot collect for at least 10 more years. But I have vowed that I will do at the earliest opportunity no matter what.
There are no personal days either. Most of them are taken up with errands that have to be done. Vet visits, home maintenance.
I feel like I need 6 months just to relax and literally catch up on every stupid thing that has been put on the back burner for years. But that will NEVER happen.