These last few days I couldn’t sleep and I don’t know why. The mix of depression + anxiety is the worst thing I could ever face during my whole life and I know this is the result of a problem that I’m tired of battling against it: my father. He turned my life into a hell (he did the same with my sister’s and my mother’s too). Since the day I was born he tried everything to make me feel bad about myself and he did awful things to those I love, especially my mom and sister. This led me to be a failure… I have dreams and I don’t feel like accomplishing them. Even though I have accomplished some of them, this problem affects these dreams - directly or not directly. Right now I am at a point of my life I feel hopeless and I can’t stop thinking about problems. I’m always worried. I don’t see worth in living anymore. I’m trying my best to get thought it, but it gets worse throughout the days.
Right now I got something I wished in the past few months: I’m alone at home with my boyfriend and I’m able to get a good time for ourselves, especially myself, but things are not working in the way I expected to work inside me. I don’t know if I can face my problems anymore. I wish I weren’t born. I wish could sleep forever. I wish I could stop bad things for a moment because I’m tired of fighting against them. Crying has never been so easy for me as it is now.

Dad, I hate you. You don't deserve the gift the nature gave you... You were able to give life to 4-5 (I'm not sure of how many children he has) children but you weren't able to take care of them. You make me feel like crap every single day of life.