I have had this friend for about six years. I'd shared all my secrets, all my stories, and all my shortcomings to her. She was my best friend and I fell in love with her and her with me last year. I saw how we were so very different, we really couldn't be more different than we were. I totaled nearly 115 things we neither agreed on nor shared in common interests. In spite of these things, I tried to pedestal her and treated her like she was heaven sent. I needed a woman to love and would give me that in return. I spent money on her, spent more time with her than my family, almost every night for years. What I realized was how narcissistic she was, when I would talk about myself she would always redirect it back to herself. In addition, when I would talk about how bad something was she would always call me names that emasculated me “pussy” “*****boy” etc. I had low self-esteem and revered her because of what she looked like.

As we have broken up and she’s gone back to her merry chaos of this boyfriend and that one on the side, the fog around me of denial of how I felt about her has lifted. I feel liberated from her constant abuse and degradation, I feel good about it. It is like I can breathe and rediscover myself without her shadow hanging over me and running myself down. When I see her though, I have this intense hatred of her. The weird thing is I don’t know if she even knows how I feel about it or about her. For my healing, should I tell her how I feel in a last stand, or should I just cut her out of my life completely and moving on without ever explaining to her what I was going through with her? I am not sure what to do. I mean do I think telling her will change anything? No. I told myself things would work out romantically with her and felt obligated to do right by her even though she never supported me on anything in two years. She would always tell me, “no, do this or wear that” she tried mightily to change me. I did it because I didn’t know how to stand up to her. By the way, I’m a verbal abuse survivor from my childhood and teen years, not surprisingly. She has nothing to offer that adds anything positive to my life.

Should I tell her why I'm leaving or should I just cut her out of my life altogether without a word? Which is correct to do?