As infuriating as these things they say may be, they are lead-ins for an in depth conversation. For example, when they say "It's a waste of money" tell them you want to change that. "Not our problem" can become "yes, it is my problem and I'd like to be responsible for it", etc.

What do you do around the home? Do you have responsiblities or take charge of anything to demonstrate you are capable of being self sufficient? Are you doing things that would command respect? You need to pull out all the stops to show you are deserving of respect. I am sorry but the responses from your parents you have shown us tell me your parents think you carry yourself with a sense of entitlement. I am not saying this must be the case but it seems to be your mom and dad's interpretation of things.