I wish I could.
I see my sister in law putter around happily with a drink in her hand.
Cooking dinner, straightening up. THEN...she actually EATS that dinner and cleans some more without alcohol.

I can't ever nor did I ever drink like that. I always WANTED to drink like that..and I have tried and tried...again and again to drink like that.

The last 3 years of me trying to drink like that I have been hospitalized over 15 times. Because this is the way I drink:

The first day..not so bad - I am drinking like her (minus preparing or eating dinner) but I am happily puttering around with my beer. Swearing to myself that I will not repeat the drinking tommorow.

I ALWAYS drink tommorow and the drinking starts early around 8am...and then continues to nightfall...no more puttering around..just sitting in a chair in my living room, only getting up to pee or to get more beer.

Day 3...repeat of Day 2
Day 4...repeat of Day 3
Day 5...repeat of Day 4 and so on. One time in the past year I continued this cycle for 32 days.

My drinking typically ends with me crying out about needing to go to the hospital. Everytime I have been in the hospital...I end up with IVs in my arms and heart monitors...usually need a "watcher" because if I try to get up I will fall. They bring me back to life and usually send me to the psyche ward....this is where I sleep and reintroduce food for up to 7 days.

This last time I drank I managed to escape going to the hospital...I stopped at Day 6...my b/f didn't want me to go back to hospital so he set up house like hospital...for IVS...I had 24 bottles of water instead...that I sipped the best I could until I could get a whole one down....Today is Day 4...I ate my first whole meal (1 egg and 1/2 muffin).

So..why do I never learn I can't drink like her?

I know I'm not alone...so I typed this so that you know your not alone either.

I know that all alcoholics do not have the same exact script...but we are not all very different.