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Mouse_ said:
My immediately reaction is always to walk away.
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Me too. I've realized only recently that this is not the healthy way to handle little ruptures in relationships. So I'm trying to be more communicative when something happens between me and another person that tears our relationship a bit. But my efforts are clumsy at best, and in trying to deal with the problem, I can make it worse. I have no conflict skills because for decades I have just walked away. I need a middle ground between walking away and muffing the interaction with my unskilled attempts at communication.
Mouse, I would not know how to react to your friend's words. It reminds me of a scenario in a book I am reading called
Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Two women are talking and one expresses her views on teenage pregnancy, which alienates the other woman, who sees them as negative, uncaring, and judgemental. The scenario shows how when the alienated woman uses the "non-violent communication" skills described in the book, the outcome to the conversation was very different and lead to greater understanding and a stronger relationship between the two women. It was very powerful. I am nowhere near even 1% along the way toward being able to do a conversation like that.