I used to have risky sex before I met my boyfriend. For me it was because I was very manic and full of myself, I felt like I could do anything. I met with a man I met on the Internet in a city I'd never been in before and had risky sex. I really regret my behavior at that point in my life, I feel a lot of guilt now and when I'm depressed I feel disgusted at myself.

When I'm depressed I self harm and become very delusional, especially about my boyfriend. I can relate to you even though my experience is a bit different.