I get that negative self talk when I'm in or working up to a mixed episode. "I'm stupid, useless, selfish, fat, ugly, old, don't deserve the air I breathe, yada yada yada." I'm glad your going to see your pdoc. Maybe your meds might need further adjustments.

You can talk back to yourself though and tell that voice that it's not true, dammit! I'm smart I have value, stop dragging me down, negative voice!