I like it though. Or I used to. Now all it does is make me cry and have very bad thoughts. I don't want that to become a habit. I've been in what I call "the hole" before. And I don't want to go back. Alcohol takes me there temporarily. And I'm tired of hiding it. Tired of lying. Tired of hiding the bottles in the trash. Tired of the liquor store employees knowing me by name and being my friends. I'm even friends with one on facebook. Tired of going from store to store to store so they don't know that I buy every day.
I need meetings every day and I need a sponsor.
I felt good after the first meeting. Then after I bought I was too ashamed to go back.
So. I begin again tomorrow.