I feel like a burden to those around me. The hope for treatment I thought I'd get seems farther away. It was supposed to be this amazing residential program for trauma and I was supposed to go three weeks ago but now they keep pushing it out or saying that I need to be more "stable". My providers here didn't even want me to go for some reason, which I don't understand. Everyday goes by like the last. Go to bed at midnight or later and don't get up until after 4pm. The only time it's different is when I have an appointment. I just feel like I'm letting everyone down and failing. I'm in constant pain physically and emotionally. I'm tired of wasting my life this way but it's all I've done for the past few years. I just don't know what else to do but to check out.