I had a pretty severe break at age 15 where I went through the cycle of hypomania, mania, a terrible long lasting mixed episode, and then depression, followed by rapid cycling since I was unmedicated (parents did not consent to medication, nobody knew what to do with me, my mother tried to keep everything from the family and was embarrassed by my mental health issues). My school mandated that I at least went to therapy, or my parents would get in trouble. I pretty much needed hospitalization from having psychosis and agitated mania, but I tried my best to hide certain things. However, I had absolutely no concentration during my Sophomore year of HS. I paced up and down the hallways, was hypersensitive to sounds, had terrible racing thoughts, and spent the majority of my time talking to School Psychologists and social workers that year since I was desperate for help. It was so scary.

Along the way, I was a "sulky" moody child, even before my manic/psychotic break as a teen. I actually do remember around age 9 was when I first experienced depression that I could just not figure out (no contributing facts)...I cried and cried for about a month straight. Nobody understood me. I felt like an outcast, but started hanging out with others eventually who on some level could relate, although I did not know of anyone else who had experienced psychosis (or was open to talking about it). I do remember early signs of hypomania though, where I felt I was on the top of the world, took risks, felt super confident, but my decisions caught up with me when I would crash and feel extreme guilt and would beat myself up pretty badly.