You bring up so many good points, LadyShadow. I was recently reflecting on how my therapist brings up many good points about changes I need to make, but it is so much easier said than done. I know she means well, but sometimes I feel she needs to meet me where I'm at. I guess I'm glad she doesn't sugarcoat it though. Maybe I need to keep hearing it.

As far as friends go, I tell some that I am BP, but it's hard to get them to fully grasp it. I don't like how there's so many misconceptions about what Bipolar is. So many people think everyone Bipolar treats others like crap all the time. Sure, I have my days where I'm irritable, but I treat everyone with the respect they deserve. So many of us are compassionate people (probably more so than the population as a whole, I'd go as far as saying), so it can be so irritating and further leaves me feeling isolated and misunderstood. There's still so much stigma.

As far as finding a partner, my mental health issues (and my ex, long-term partner's mental health issues) affected our relationship. Now, he's trying to win me back and claims he will be for me no matter what, but he's done things to trigger me, and I want to move on and eventually find a healthy relationship. I do get scared of others not wanting to accept me and my baggage from having mental health issues. I want to stay single for a while though...I simply can't deal from the pressure and need to figure out myself.

My moods are far from easy to deal with. I fear I'll never find happiness in a relationship sometime, although one time long ago I had it, I feel it unraveled and will continue to do so. Will anyone truly stay by my side and mean it, for better or worse? I wouldn't want to re-enter a relationship until I'm emotionally capable of living up to my end of the bargain though. I know I need to have hope though. Right now, I'm just casually dating someone who I've known for a while only here and there, which is perfect for me since there's no pressure, and he needs to work out his own personal issues, but I know that's not the man I'm supposed to end up with. I need to figure out myself and take care of myself before I can possibly be ready.