I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I get that too, especially when I'm feeling low (though sometimes it happens out of nowhere). For me, it's like I just imagine any and every way to kill myself based on the things around me. Those thoughts seem to function intrusively, and usually don't have an emotional reaction attached. Though when I'm feeling depressed and have those intrusive thoughts, they can be emotionally disturbing. I cope with it by treating it like an ocd thought--simply acknowledging that it's there and then letting it go (sometimes you can spend the whole day in the cycle when the thoughts are constant). I hope you feel better soon.