sorry you are going through this. It took me decades to get diagnosed. I presented as clinically depressed. I was on and off antidepressants for years with one hospitalization. In between I was just a "happy hyper person" It wasn't until I hit menopause that hypo mania and mixed states started happening along with suicidal ideation. Then I got diagnosed as BP2 with rapid cycling.

Is your T anti med? Or does she just think you're not "bad enough" to need meds? If you think you need them you may be right. Once I got on APs I never looked back. Sure I have some side effects and yes I've gained a little weight, but I have a life now. And most of the time I feel pretty good.