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Do you know why your mood changes when it changes?
Antipsychotics could very well help with BPD as well and maybe you don't need meds even if you were to be diagnosed as having BP. BPD is in some ways more like (chronic) psychosis than BP2. It's borderline psychotic.
Is your judgement often impaired and are your convictions very changeable? Can you be very certain and shortly after very uncertain about something, about yourself, causing shame or distress? Are you ever confused about who you are? Do you fear losing someone's affection or do you fear affection? Are you a pretty rational and responsible person or would you like to be?
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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