Rick I think you hit the nail on the head. I really think its all mental for him.

So my next question to the men who have hit 40, did you go through something like this? Did you have this idea in your head that after 40 it all goes downhill?

He seems to be emerging from those thoughs, and now we've been sick hahahaha. First him and now me. Sooooo its been over a month.

Another question to the men is, do you ever feel pressured by your girlfriend/wives? I know for women we can feel pressured when our men are kinda pushing it, at least thats how its been for me in my past (just a wrong fit I think, not anyone's fault). And I don't want to make my boyfriend feel this way.

The discussions we've had regarding the lack of sex makes him feel inadequate and he keeps saying he feels like he's letting me down.

So men, how can I let him know my desires and my frustrations without hurting his feelings? Thats the last thing I want to do.....I just want him, and want him to know that he's wanted.

This is all completely new for me and I GREATLY appreciate the men's input on this.

Ladies its good to know I'm not alone in this experience, I'm just really looking for the men's point of view. I've been learning a lot of from the men on the site and thats such a huge change for me, to feel comfortable getting help with men's issues from the men lol!!!

Thanks everyone!!!!!