I sincerely think you for all of your replies.

I think maybe this is a difficult thing to explain and to put into words (both the problem and the suggestions)....

It seems that whatever I try (I tell myself I'm only human...I have, a couple of times, reached out to who it was and apologized, also)....I just don't really believe me.

I have decided that a lot of my problems (like, MOST) stem from having a poor self-esteem. Maybe deep down I think I need some kind of punishment for the things I have done in the past in order to be a better person?

Rationally, I KNOW I'm only human and I make mistakes....but having that knowledge, even if I repeat it as a daily mantra, honestly doesn't lessen the guilt. And, truthfully, my "guilt" is simply a wrong word or deed done occasionally, or an ill thought about someone (and usually in way-past).

I wonder if we're born this way or if it's a case of a poor upbringing. I wonder if it was a huge mistake to be taught to have such a strong moral compass? Doesn't that lead to very black and white thinking?

Does the knowledge and acknowledgement of a thing really matter? If it does, how do you let it change how you feel? I'm so envious of people who can simply let it go...