I will try to sum things up as quickly as possible. My wife was diagnosed with depression and bipolar approx 13 years ago in college. We have now been married nearly 10 years, own a small business together and have a 3 y/o daughter.

We have always been madly in love and still are despite fairly severe arguments on a pretty regular basis. 100% of our arguments start as something I did wrong (forgot something, screwed up a task) and then grow because of how she handles the situation. I have always tried to get her to not use fowl language towards me with no success. She says it's her release and if she didn't use the language things would be worse. I was able to accept it but she now has a hard time holding back around our daughter.

I get angry with my daughter too (she's an astoundingly stubborn person) and sometimes I yell which I regret. My wife sometimes says things that she must just be mortified by in hindsight later. Last night she screamed "*****" at our daughter because she wouldn't listen. It's not the first time she has said it but it's the first time she said so our daughter could hear it. My wife has also hit me a couple times recently; that has never happened before.

Today, while she is home alone and I am at work, she is telling me that she's having a terrible day and all she can think about is dying. She has had regular thoughts of suicide her whole adult life. I have done all I know to address this. I've responded gently, I've suggested going to the Dr. with her, I've reminded her how often she mentions suicide. She always acknowledges the fact that she's in a dangerous situation and then doesn't take any action.

She's been on fairly regular medication to some degree since she was diagnosed. She stopped when she was pregnant and then went back on again after she finished breast feeding. She is currently on a dose that a Dr. once described to her as a "baby dose". I don't know what it is or how much. We have discussed the fact that her medicine isn't working and she passively agrees without wanting to move forward.

I've been told that you can't force someone to get help. And I also know from experience that you can't push too hard. If she doesn't do anything with my gentle suggestions then what choice does that leave me? She was raised by a woman with the exact same issues that went completely untreated and it was a miserable childhood. I will not allow my daughter to share that experience in any way.

I don't know what to do.