The meetings I attend are closed meetings, but no cross-talk is allowed at the mixed meetings (men & women) I attend. The chairperson makes it clear at the beginning of the meeting that if someone has questions or problems it's best to talk to someone after the meeting...& regular members are great about pulling folks with questions or problems aside after meetings. Thus, their needs are ultimately met, IMO. I find there's very little judgement at these meetings. If someone does have a disagreement it's made in a polite/tactful manner

I am, however, unclear about the exact definition of cross-talk. One can address the concerns of a specific individual when it is their turn to speak, but cutting in while someone else is speaking isn't allowed. The order of speakers goes around the table, one person after another. I just happened to be the last person to speak at the meeting I referred to. I was at "the end of the line," so to speak - & I talked to my sponsor & a few other folks after the meeting.

This said, there are men's meetings (which they call Dignitary Meetings) in town where cross-talk is allowed...& even encouraged. In my humble opinion, however, it seems newbies get the hell beaten out of them rather than receiving compassionate advice. There's a very hierarchical vibe to meetings...I've been in meetings where folks with a year or two of sobriety work the program better than folks with longer term sobriety. Different people receive the message in different ways, at different times, & with varying degrees of humility.

Which leads me to a pet peeve about the Dignitaries (& I'll apologize to you, lee, before I write this). Some folks think "Big Book Thumpers" (an offensive term some use) chase some people away from meetings. The preface, forwards, the letter from Dr. Silkworth & the first 164 pages of the Big Book are important, but I think many newcomers feel more comfortable if these matters are paraphrased, rather than cited chapter & verse (Big Book meetings, however, are VITAL for folks new to sobriety). I've read the Big Book several dozen times & am intimately familiar with the stories; this is why my home group is a Grapevine meeting. For those unfamiliar with The AA Grapevine, it's a magazine/online source which contains contemporary stories wtitten by alcoholics. I think it's interesting to note how similar the older stories in the Big Book are to those in The Grapevine. Times change, but the disease remains the same.

I've been to meetings in different parts of the country & there have been subtle differences in different areas. In some places cross-talk is encouraged, while in others, it's discouraged. You've given such valuable information on this thread, lee, so I don't mean to step on your toes...I fear I may have done so anyways. The important factor is finding meetings that help one to the greatest degree possible.

I'm in Michigan & the next AA International Conference will be held in Detroit. With the God of our understanding willing & taking things one day at a time, perhaps we can meet there. It would be a great honor & a pleasure.