@both
The problem is I easily get in a flow - in the negative meaning. I temporarily get into a different state, so to speak. It is like an addict's loss of control. Reasoning is different then, and in its way, consistent. It has happened hundreds of times. I can't control it in way too many situations. It makes me feel stupid because it feels like a mental block - not understanding where a conversation is going or not spotting obvious allusions.
At other times, it feels more precisely as fear of confrontation, because I end up either very sad or very angry, which - once noticed - becomes the worst case scenario.