Hello notamammel: I don't know as I have any particularly useful suggestions for you here. I once said to a therapist: "I know what my options are. I just don't like any of them." I suspect you know what your options are. You just don't like any of them either. "Lost_in_the_woods" offered some solid suggestions for your wife. But, of course, if your wife won't do what she needs to do to help herself, then what options do you have? At some point, you simply have to make up your mind. Perhaps spending some time with a counselor or therapist yourself would be helpful in terms of reaching some decisions regarding the best course of action here.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!