I was the problem causing my first wife to break my heart and leave, and she later said she would have followed me anywhere if I had changed. I was the problem again when I left my second wife, but she (now my third wife) was willing to try again after I had come to her of my own accord to let her know I was determined to learn to become a decent husband for her.

Only you can decide your feelings related to your wife, only she can decide to learn to not drive you away and then only you can decide whether to give her that opportunity or to try again with someone else.