Went to the pdoc earlier today, and I was managing. She still increased one of my meds since I haven't been doing too well, but I was feeling just maybe things will start getting better.

I don't know what happened. As the day went on, I started feeling more and more emotional, anxious, even some paranoid thoughts. My heart is racing (not from meds, but from anxiety), and now none of the sedating meds I'm on are enough to bring me back down to a calm state.

A few days ago, I was complaining of too much sedation. Now, not enough sedation, because it seems like I'm cycling. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight and kind of fear tomorrow and having to face people. I want a vacation from my own mind. These racing thoughts will not stop. I hate being someone who complains all the time, but I just have a bad feeling about things and hope with time something will finally work.