I had a psychotic break (bad manic episdode) that I was hospitalized for. I recovered. My memories of it are blurry and distant now. My advice is to be gentle with yourself. Don't blame yourself for it. Take it as a learning experience of how to care for yourself better in the future (if you think there are some things you could have done differently, such as sleep habits, exercise, seeing your pdoc sooner, alerting family members to look for warning signs, etc.). You'll be okay! I recommend Louise Hay's affirmations and positive self-talk. I have a hunch that it might help you, because it helped me when I was recovering. ((HUGS)) Happy Holidays!