In session today I came to a horrible realisation. I realised no one is ever going to be "enough" for me. No matter what they do they will never be able to fill this massive void inside of me. I don't know how to get rid of all these bad feelings and make myself happy so I rely on other people to "save me" like my T but she can't do that. I feel as though she is the only person who really understands me but it still isn't enough. I don't even know if I'm explaining this right. It just feels as though no one can help me and I'm going to be like this forever. I feel guilty for even existing. Why am I like this? Why am I so pathetic? Everything is too much right now and I just wish that I didn't exist. I hate myself so incredibly much.

These words don't even begin to explain how I'm feeling but it's the best I can do at the moment.