I'm dealing with something like this, too. A while ago, we were talking about something, and my marriage counselor was like, "Do you ever just feel like there's this void inside of you that no one can fill?" I thought about it for a second and replied, "Yes." He said something similar to what others on this thread have said, that no one can fill the void for me. Because the void probably comes from childhood, and it's not like I can go back and fix that. So I have to learn to fill it for myself. He said he and T (and H) could certainly help me with that, but it's mostly up to me.

It's come up again recently with my seeking reassurance. I feel like MC is the only person who will consistently give that to me (I try to tell H what I need, but he often seems either unwilling or unable to give it). So I've become very attached to him. But I know that seeking (and getting) reassurance can be a vicious cycle. I talked to him about it recently, mostly in the context of trying to lessen my attachment. He suggested that maybe other people *are* offering me reassurance, or in the case of H, more like security and connection. But maybe it's that I'm not open to it, whether out of fear or because I've been getting the message all my life that I shouldn't want/need that.

So I'm going to try working on opening myself up more to accepting that. Which I know won't be easy. One thing I was talking about with T yesterday is, though I'm not religious, trying to go to a local Unitarian Universalist church to make some connections there--that would give me something weekly to do (that isn't therapy!) and some like-minded, local people to connect with. I do have friends, but they're all pretty busy, so I can only see them once in a while. But maybe I'll try to connect with them more often, too. And of course try to be more open to connecting with H...

So, I understand, and yeah, it sucks...Hugs...