Thanks everyone for helping ne get through this. I quote s4ndn4n, above, as expressing really well this ability that fb gives people to slam others in a cowardly way - without really facing the person. I'm not saying that's happened to me. This was subtle and I really have no idea what was on her mind - maybe no one in particular.

I've never before had any negative emotional reaction to fb, other than disliking the mean-spirited political stuff. I do understand about unfollowing people, and I'm glad of that option.

I know people who have had fb wars of snide remarks that destroyed connections between close relatives. That is awfully sad. I would never have anything to do with that. It really is a temptation to the worst that is in people. I think some people post things when they are drinking.

On balance, I think fb is a good thing. It is new and I wonder if people have always thought through what they do on fb.

Here's an example I feel I can share here. My sig. other and I had a troubled relationship and stopped living together years ago. But the love is still there, and I am with him a great deal of the time, enabling him to continue living outside of a nursing home, and I enjoy our companionship. My friend's son posted a thing on fb saying, "I wish the government would at least send me pictures of the ghetto family I am supporting!"

Well, if I was a real snark, I could have commented, "Just open your own photo album and there you go." His father is very low income and gets every form of help the social safety net offers, plus a ton of free help from me. This relieves his children of any responsibility and leaves them free of worry. But I wouldn't ever post anything like that.

The whole source of the coldness toward me by his daughter is that she has whined to me at the worst possible moments that she wonders how in the world they are going to finance the "final arrangements" for their father, since he is leaving no money. (Her home has a market value of over $600,000.) When her father was in ICU possibly dying, she called me to say, "Do you think he would mind being cremated?" I just said, "Sorry, I have to go." and I hung up. So she called right back, leaving a message, crying about how I did not realize how stressed out she was. It's her father. I separated from him long ago, but remain devoted to him. His children can bury him anyway they like. It's not my business. That's the whole source of the friction between her and me. She called me two years ago asking about cremation. I told her that I can't tell her what to do. He's her father. She could ask him.

If I were to bury him here where he lives, it would cost his kids more to fly out here to the funeral than they seem to want to spend. They don't try to have a sincere, honest conversation about any of this.

Issues between people do, most of the time, seem to come down to money.

She posted a thing about how, even after she forgives people, she never trusts them. Well, good for her. I have little reason to trust her, but I try to be helpful when that seems appropriate and bother her next to never.

I just want to take care of my friend, whom I love, for the time he has left . . . which I don't think will be maybe two years at most. He hasn't seen most of his family in years. Two years ago, they invited us out. But they said we would have to fly into New York, but fly out of New Jersey. (to convenience them picking us up.) Nutty as that was, I was willing. But when their father saw how much more the tickets would cost, he lost interest. Plus, he was very weak and could barely walk. The flight back would have involved a layover and dragged out the journey to double the time.

Sorry for what turned into a rant.

I'm going to try to have a productive day and get over this.