I haven't been well since I've had my first break about 2 years ago... There's always been something wrong since then. I've lived with BP since adolescence but not like this, there is usually some relief in between episodes. but since my first break I've not been okay since, just bounce from mania, to mixed state, to depression, sometimes with psychotic symptoms, sometimes not. but I haven't been well in over 2 years now. if there was a time of relief it was maybe a week. this is not a life worth living...