That is mostly how it happens for me too. I don't realize what has happened, and I'm not really sure anything has happened until a bit later, then it comes back to me in pieces and I'm questioning whether it really happened or not. I spend quite a bit of time in a very anxious place trying to fit the pieces together and figure out what happened.

There has been one time that I lost time and was aware of it right after it happened. To me, that is more disorienting than it happening and me piecing it together after the fact.

This year we are having a family Christmas here at our home. It's going to be different this year because we are not making the rounds and being at everyone else's house.

It was hard for me to tell my mom what we are doing this year because I've always done what was expected of me. But. I did it!!

So this Christmas it will be us. My babies that I love so much. The grand dogs. The new inlaws. I am hoping it will be as wonderful as I'm imagining it to be. [emoji319]

Do you have a part of you that feels very young and old at the same time? Not maturity wise. A part that feels like it's een here a long time, but still feels young too. I guess a young old soul?