Hi, new here.
I made the writing as organised as I could, hope it's ok.

I've been having a concerning issue about relationships.
I am a 22 year old male, and a relationship with a female is a meaning of life for me. Interestingly enough this trait has heritage in my family - my father has had a marriage with my mom for over 25 years and they always express happiness, casual romance and support each other. They almost never fight about something. His father has had a lifelong marriage lasting until his wife died, and he was complaining about wanting to end his life by then (a GP helped with psychiatric medications for that) I think he was nearly 90 by then.

I have that same desire and inner love for a woman. Although I can easily express frustration to women compared to men, I have deep feelings of pure (maybe innocent) love for those to whom I have those feelings. I may become easily angry with women because I feel more emotionally comfortable with talking to them.
I've had 3 relationship attempts lasting 1-1.5 months.
One was 4 years ago, the other was about half a year after, and the last one was 2.5 years after.
They all broke up with me.
Other than that, a very few attempts to ask for a number/meetup, talking to women strangers, though these were not at all daily activities.

Something some of my friends have questioned is why I'm not creating relationships based on sexual attraction. This questioning has devastated me.
Here I need to state - the relationships I formed felt more emotional to me. I can simply LOVE a woman for who she is, until she decides to break up. That's why it's so hard for me to cope with someone who leaves, a woman feels so important to me.
The thing is, I don't know whether the sexual attraction was behind the scene, or non-existent.
I never think about "Is she sexy? Do I feel X, Y, and Z?" I just listen to a core feeling of wanting to be with her and love her, but due to a feeling of disregard for sexual attraction, I am very confused.

I had a friend whom I feel has poisoned me with "alpha male" rules which I'm not sure how true they are to reality, as reality is getting more superficial and sexual than usual as it feels.
That's why I "had" him as a friend - he hurt my feelings and denied some of my personality traits as wrong. This has been a big deal for me, years of denial, more than I can write about it right now since it's also off-topic.

I don't know what to do. The desire for love to a woman is a very integral part of me. But I'm not thinking of romance or sex, allot more of a sweetheart.
The fact that I can't seem to get a date is really really putting me down, that idea of failure is quite crippling me.
Something interesting to note - when I started my second relationship, I felt a release of energy to create art. When I see relationships starting to form, I thrive, I feel extremely exhilarated!

But my failure shows a dark polar side to this and it's devastating me.
I need help on this.

Thanks.