Therapy hasn't been about T for a long time. It's been about shame and physical stuff. That's therapy. If it's a discussion about my artwork, that's therapy too. If I'm learning a new skill, it's therapy but the interaction is very friendly. Maybe I'm mixing up intimacy with friendship. T and I talk about my issues in an intimate way that FEELS like friendship. It's almost always about me, but if something about her is relevant to me, she will say it.

Her orientation focuses on feelings in the present, which is about how I feel about her. Is she sitting too close, too far, or just right? What do I feel in my body?

I know you're right that T's bf has nothing to do with my therapy. T always brings it back to me. She's a good T. I'm a challenging client. Thank you, atisketatasket.