I usually keep away from others, stare at the ceiling a lot, try to watch things, but nothing holds my interest. My pdoc and T observe my voice becomes flat, and I have trouble focusing. I cry a lot, or on days where I don't cry, I feel numb. I stay in my bedroom a lot and refuse to go out with friends or do tasks that I should be doing. My life seems "grey" and that it will always stay that way. Depression feels "heavy" and weighs you down. I lose hope more and more with each day when I experience it. Eventually, it becomes like a dark tunnel with no light.

The impulsivity, severe racing thoughts, and self-destructive behaviors start to set in after going through a low energy state of depression, where it starts to become a Mixed Episode.