EV,

I can relate to that. My T doesn't say bad things about my parents or anything, but when I contradict myself, she points it out. She doesn't let me live in denial.

For me, this denial often stems from not wanting to face the reality of certain parts of my past, because with that reality comes a lot of pain -pain that I don't know how to process. But also, I seem to have a real need to invalidate myself! And I think that contributes to my sometimes rose-colored perceptions of my relationships.

I personally appreciate my therapist very much for helping me face the reality. She doesn't get caught up in sharing her "opinions" too much (although she's human, so some seep out of course!), but she is good at reminding me of the facts when I want to not face them, or paint smiley faces on top of everything. Ya know?

One thing it has helped me with, is coming to terms with my parents AND their limitations. When you get to a point where you can recognize and accept your parents' shortcomings, then you can adjust your expectations of them accordingly and get hurt a LOT less. Make sense?

And, Fuzzy, it sounds like your old T screwed up. That's the bottom line. He did more than use confrontation with you to help with denial- he invalidated you and that is very NOT good.

Angela